Regrets
by Jisushika-chan
Summary: Mahaado's thoughts on his love after he is sealed away. ManaMahaado


Kon'nichiwa!

I start another story... this only a one-chpater story, though. Lately I wrote a bit from Dark Magician Girl's POV, so I decided to change things a bit. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I neither own Yu-gi-oh nor the song Tong Hua.

Notes:

-This is in Dark Magician's POV  
-It takes place shortly after he was killed by Bakura and sealed away.  
-This is a Mandarin song by Guang Liang. I wrote the translations, so I am not totally sure if they are in the same sense as they are in chinese. It is not my first language, maybe only my second, so it should be okay... Sorry!  
-My first language is not English, so I apologize for any grammical mistakes. If I have any, please point them out to me.  
-Just for your information, 'tong hua' means 'fairy tale'.

* * *

I wish… I wish I could say I have no regrets. But I do. 

I am glad that I have brought you time, Pharaoh, and I am glad that I can forever-more be your loyal servant. But here in this flat, timeless expanse I _regret_ to say that my thoughts stray from you.

_Mana…_

Her warm dark green eyes, her laughter echoing through the halls, her infectious good mood…

I miss her – _all _off her. Her clumsiness, humor, and even occasional bad mood. I vaguely remember… a particular clay pot out of them all. Her choice in hiding spots. …_'I am going to do it now?' _Her choice of excuses.

You were so different from me, Mana. You always wanted me to relax a bit, be a bit more like you. And always disappointed when I made a stupid excuse.

_I forgot how long had it been_

_That I haven't heard from you again_

_Telling me the story you loved the most._

_I pondered for a long time_

_I started to panic._

_Is it because I did something wrong again?_

I remember when I first admitted I loved you to myself. I had asked to you to be sure to practice a freezing charm… and you caught a cold from it. I felt so guilty… I wanted you to get better so badly… and I couldn't use magic, since I had sealed it away, and I didn't want you to get worse from a forced healing spell.

Then one night, when you are incoherent with fever – and I suspect slightly delusional from the heat – I mumbled to you "I love you" and you laughed, eyes-glazed and told me that you didn't believe me, your words slurred. But you also said… "Even so… I think… I like you too."

I was so happy.

_With tears in your eyes, you told me that,_

_Fairy tales are all human lies_

_There's no way I could be your prince_

_Maybe you don't understand_

_Since moment you said you love me_

_All the stars in my sky are lighted_

You fell asleep. I couldn't sleep, staying up and watching you all night. Then, morning came and the feeling didn't fade. For maybe the first time, I smiled for hours on end.

The next day, you were healthy again, thanks to the healers I demanded look after you. But… you didn't seem to remember that night.

_I wish I could become the one in the fairy tale_

_The angel that you love_

_Open both my hands_

_Turn them into wings to guard you_

_You have to believe_

_Believe that we will be like the ones in the fairy tale_

_That felicity and happiness are the ending._

I don't think I ever got over that. And even though I tried to hide it, you always asked me, concerned, why I seemed so sad. I couldn't bear to tell you. I didn't want to tell you that my sadness was from you. I knew it would make you sad, because you were so kind-hearted, and I wanted you to be happy, _always_.

So I always said there was nothing making me sad, that I wasn't sad at all. But that only made you sad, thinking that I didn't trust you with whatever it was. I think, once or twice, I caught you crying over it, but you would always tried to hide it from me.

_With tears in your eyes, you told me that,_

_Fairy tales are all human lies_

_There's no way I could be your prince_

_Maybe you don't understand_

_From the moment you said you love me_

_All the stars in my sky lit up_

That only depressed me. I wanted to keep you safe forever. Not only from the pain of injuries, but the pain of sorrow and hurt. But I was causing some of your pain, wasn't I?

I never wished I were like Set. But I _regret_ that. He would have the courage to tell you, wouldn't he? If I had that courage, maybe we both could've been happy.

_I wish I could become the one in the fairy tale_

_The angel that you love_

_Open both my hands_

_Turn them into wings to guard you_

_You have to believe_

_Believe that we will be like the ones in the fairy tale_

_That felicity and happiness are the ending._

I found myself doing what I've never done before. I began to… dream. Of what I could've done when I had the chance. If I had the courage.

I dreamt… that one day you would remember what happened that night. I don't know how… maybe it would come to you in a dream. And... I dreamt that you would love me.

_I want to be the one in the fairy tale_

_The angel that you love_

_Open both my hands_

_Turn them into wings to protect you_

_You have to believe_

_Believe that we will be like the ones in the fairy tale_

_That felicity and happiness are the ending_

I wished for so much… so much I could've had if I'd the courage. _Courage…_ I wished that I had that a lot.

They always did say being a willing sacrifice was an act of courage. But I, being one, knew differently. I chose the coward's way out. I thought I could escape and serve Pharaoh. Killing two birds with one stone.

But it didn't work out, did it?

I dreamt that we could have the happiness I always wanted you to have. I dreamt that we could have a future together. And that we would be happy, just because we had each other.

But it didn't work out, did it? And now I am alone, save for my _regrets._

I wish… a great many things.

Things could have been different.

_I will become the one in the fairy tale_

_The angel that you love_

_Open both my hands_

_Turn them to wings to guard you_

_You have to believe_

_Believe that we will be like the ones in the fairy tale_

_That felicity and happiness are the ending_

_Together, we can write our own ending._

_

* * *

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By the way, if you get a chance, listen to this song... it's one of my favourites.

Thanks for reading,  
Jisushika-chan


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